For the record.

On more than one occasion, I’ve been asked “If you’re such a big Carl Kassel fan, why don’t you try to be a contestant on WWDTM?”

You might as well ask me “Why is the sky blue?” Does it matter? Does that change the fact that every day I look up into the sky and see majestic glory over my head?

For the record, I would love nothing more than to have his voice on my answering machine. But, I hear Carl Kassel almost daily encouraging me out of bed, reading headlines (when the morning show meatheads wizen up and give the new morning headline reader (new as of circa 2004, but he/she will always be new to me) a break) or every weekend laughing sweetly alongside the WWDTM wit and witticism. I have come to realize that I need nothing more in this life than the knowledge that someone as amazingly genuine as Carl Kassel takes time from his day to massage me into a comfortable appreciation for the most crucial of today’s current events. That is what makes me such a big Carl Kassel fan! YOU ROCK CARL KASSEL!

Talk me more you!

As all Carl Kassel-ites know, the most revered and coveted prize of Mr. Kassel's dowry is his voice upon a recorded message device for collecting voice communications between two or more people. Oh to have my away message be Carl Kassel sympathetically informing my constituents that i can't be bothered...with Carl I see that dreams do come true. Such prestige, such demure. He is a true American Gentleman. Carl Kassel rocks and that is a fact.