Decade's End

As any sagittarian could identify with, everything is pretty literal in my life. The last day of my twenties, one day before a new, fresh start to a decade, I came slamming to the end of my twenties. I peaked past the edge and thought it was clear. The girl skidded to a stop and if she had reacted maybe a split second sooner there would have been no impact at all. But there was impact. A crash just like the robotic toy crash sequence orchestrated with friends a few months earlier. I wept in my mother's lap after. I made it through.

After the accident, no one hurt, insurance to deal with, tickets to deal with, the anxiety set in.  I haven't had to do this before so paranoia seemed to be the most obvious reaction at the time. Debt. Law suit. Accident. Too hard.

But not after too long, I remembered that I saw my horoscope in the Times Picayune saying that I would be dealing with something that would affect my wallet. And I laughed, because I realized that I am supposed to learn something from this, because most importantly this happened on the last day as a 29 year old woman.

I breathed. I prayed. I surrendered. The lesson I learned is that stress is going to take the forms of so many different things, everything is going to always feel like its happening all at once, and the important thing to remember is to not take that out on anyone else.  The lesson I learned is that exploration of the self, breathing, being present are the practices of everyday life that give strength to us in times of stress like fender benders, insurance claims and traffic tickets. It just makes me smile though, the thought of going out with a bang.  Symbolically, I'm taking this opportunity to surrender the hysterical sense of humor of the universe.

I did it! I survived!